There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I will pee on everything he values.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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