HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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