I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
