Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
