Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
