I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
