he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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