awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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