shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
