We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
