Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
