so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
