I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
