I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
