fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
