it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
