if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize