feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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