he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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