i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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