from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize