if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
