New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
