I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
