yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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