Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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