i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
