I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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