guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
