the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am midnight drunk by noon
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
