so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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