Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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