my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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