roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
