You just made me feel so damn special
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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