I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
