Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
