My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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