She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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