3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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