the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
