Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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