he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
