I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize