Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my sisters under your porch take her home
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
