if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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