Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
