there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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