it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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