I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
