Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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