He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
