Don't you send me to vm
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
