I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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