I'm jealous of your bromance
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
