are you still at the devil's house?
White coat. Heels.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize