mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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