Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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