We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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