Non-Jews are for practice
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
