Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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