so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
