Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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