So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
