dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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